Fear I Can Feel in Every Breath: Living with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (MCS)

When a Simple Pen Took My Breath Away

I feel so much fear that my breath comes out in bursts. My entire body becomes tense.

I know my neighbors must think I am strange, walking outside with produce bags over my hands just to protect myself from toxins.

But for me, this is survival.

On this particular morning, my goal was simple: remove a pen from our porch and place my purse in the sun to off-gas.

It sounds small.

It wasn’t.

How It Began

A few days earlier, I had gone to the grocery store. I noticed one of my favorite pens in our truck and casually dropped it into my purse.

The next morning, everything changed.

When I woke up, I noticed the VOC levels were higher throughout our home. I didn’t understand why.

Then I walked into my office and my asthma became uncontrollable.

A Sudden and Severe Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (MCS) Reaction

Asthma is always frightening, even after 50 years of managing it.

I reached for my usual solution; 2 tablespoons of lime juice. It has helped me many times before.

But this time, it didn’t work.

My coughing became violent. My left sinus blocked completely. Yellow mucus. My left eye began to water.

I hadn’t experienced all these symptoms at once for quite a while.

Why now, when the VOC levels in our home were below 250, green and safe?

Relief

I ate an orange.

Slowly, my coughing eased. The asthma stopped. This only works because the vast majority of the time I am not exposed to toxins so that my body can recover quickly.

But the question remained, what had caused this?

The Discovery: VOCs Rising Rapidly

Then I remembered the pen.

It was in my purse, right next to me in my office.

I moved my VOC meter into the room.

Between 7:44 AM and 9:00 AM, VOC levels jumped from 205 to 372 and were still rising.

That’s a 167-point increase in just over an hour. I had found the problem.

The Hidden Reality of Off-Gassing

That pen had been releasing VOCs all night at such a level that it overpowered our AirDoctor purifier.

This is the reality of many everyday products:

They don’t just release toxins once, they can off-gas for years.

Tracing the Source

The pen itself wasn’t the real issue.

I use pens like this one every day.

My purse is next to me every day. It is not our truck since I had driven it without my mask on with no issue

So what changed?

The answer: secondhand contamination.

The pen had been in my husband's pocket and exposed to fragrance, likely from a grocery store or restaurant.

That exposure transferred to the pen.

Then to my purse.

Then to the chair in my office.

Contamination Spreads Quickly

Once I realized, I threw the pen outside. (this makes me feel better)

But the VOCs kept rising.

I moved my purse to the garage.

Still rising. Finally they stopped and began to go down. What relief.

Later that evening, VOC levels spiked again, this time from the chair itself.

It had absorbed the contamination and was now off-gassing enough to overwhelm our air purifier once again.

I rushed it outside.

Only then did the levels begin to fall and remain safe.

Living in Constant Uncertainty

This is what makes life so frightening.

Something as simple as a pen can trigger severe asthma.

Something you never think about can become dangerous.

Even when I recover physically, the fear remains.

Because I know it can happen again at any time.

There Is No Safe Place

The threat is everywhere.

Even outdoors.

I’ve been in remote places, taking photographs, when someone walks up wearing fragrance and instantly, I’m in distress.

On hikes, I must wear a respirator.

At any moment, someone passing by can trigger an asthma attack.

Why I Keep Going

Difficulty breathing is one of the strongest motivators there is.

It pushes me to keep searching, learning, and sharing.

Over the years, I have discovered solutions that have brought healing.

And I continue to learn every day.

My body is my guide and I listen.

This Is Bigger Than Me

This is not just my story.

Over 30% of Americans experience adverse reactions to fragrances and toxic chemicals.

People suffer from:

• Asthma

• Migraines

• Chronic pain

• Neurological symptoms

• So many symptoms

  
  

And yet there is so little awareness.

Even places meant to help - doctor’s offices, hospitals, ambulances can be dangerous.

The Hidden Struggle of MCS

Many people with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (MCS) live in constant exposure.

Apartments or homes filled with or exposed to:

• Fragrances

• Cigarette smoke

• Marijuana smoke

• Mold

• Toxic paint

  
  

They are not safe even in their own homes.

The Truth About VOCs

Through years of searching for answers, listening to my intuition, I have learned something critical:

High VOC levels are a key driver of illness.

Levels above 500 are harmful.

And these exposures affect everyone; not just those of us who react immediately.

A Call for Solutions

We need change.

Do you have ideas for people with MCS who can find no safety?

• A fragrance-free home to rent?

• A low VOC product? So many products have high VOCs and cause so much harm.

• A way to help others avoid this suffering?

  
  

If so, please share.

Because right now, too many people are suffering without answers.

My Purpose

I now know the cause behind years of illness.

And I know it affects all of us.

That is why I write.

That is why I create videos.

That is why I share everything I learn.

This is why I share safe products

What You Can Do

If my work resonates with you:

• Share my posts

• Share my website

• Share my videos

  
  

Awareness is the first step.

There is currently no system ensuring product safety at this level.

But change can begin with us.

Start with one change and as you are able, make more changes. Your health and the health of our Earth depends on this.